Monday 29 July 2013

Co-op to sell lads mags inside plain wank sock


The Co-operative has told lads mags they have six weeks to cover their products in plain masturbatory receptacles, or face being pulled from their shelves.

The 4,000 outlet retailer was responding to member concerns that young men buying the magazines then needed to buy another product to masturbate into.

Co-op spokesperson Simon Williams explained, “We’re an organisation of members, for our members, and we recognise that the people buying these magazines are simply massive wankers.”

“By placing these magazines inside a plain wank sock, it will be obvious to all concerned precisely what it is that they’re planning to do.”

“No more searching the house for wanking paraphernalia – just open it up and start tugging.”

Co-op lads mags covers

Fans of the lads mag genre have spoken of their happiness at the planned change by the Co-op.

Lads Mag reader Trevor Matthews told us, “Essentially we’re all too chicken shit to buy real pornography, or know how to use the Internet – so lads mags are really great products for us.”

“If they could stick a bottle of my mum’s moisturiser on the front too, then this deal would be perfect.”

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