Monday 22 July 2013

Prince William’s hand ‘absolutely killing him’


Prince Williams has spoken of his wife’s labour, and how she’s squeezing his hand quite a bit harder than he was expecting.

As the world’s press awaits news of the birth, Williams has told friends that he is surprised no-one told him painful childbirth could be.

“She’s squeezing my hand so hard it’s like she’s actually trying to hurt me,” he told friends.

“And the words coming out of her mouth.  My word. If I hadn’t seen the background check with my own eyes I’d be pretty sure she’d dated a sailor.”

“Have I what? No, I haven’t looked ‘downstairs’ and I have no intention of doing so. It’s going to be out of action for a while I’d imagine.”

“On the bright side, there’s plenty of adult material on the Internet to keep me occupied for a few months.”

“Wait, David Cameron’s done WHAT??”

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