Wednesday 17 July 2013

Hot weather stories now officially as tedious as cold weather stories


Tales of how hot it has been are now officially as tedious as tales of how cold it was during the winter, according to reports.

Reports are emerging of incredibly boring repetitive conversations striking up across the nation, with widespread outbreaks entirely predictable social media commentary.

Simon Williams told us, “Like anything new, hot weather stories hold a certain interest for a rather limited short period of time.

“That time expires when I hear for the third time how someone couldn’t sleep last night because it was so hot, no matter how many times they turned the pillow over.

“I didn’t think it was possible to hear a more tedious story than the one about Maureen in accounts not being able to get to work because of the snow – but the one about Maureen’s faulty fan leaving her bedroom unbearably hot really does top the lot.

“It’s almost like she’s actually just a very boring person and all she can talk about is the weather. Strange, isn’t it?”

Heatwave

Facebook has responded to complaints that a new bug is filling the newsfeeds of UK users with updates that make their friends seem like weather obsessed morons who are incapable of coping with a bit of abnormal heat.

A spokesperson for the social network said, “No, that’s not a bug, your social circle really is capable of producing such epic levels banality in these ridiculously high quantities.

“Our suggestion? Try and get some new friends, or avoid Facebook until it cools down a bit.”

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