Wednesday 3 July 2013 by Spacey

Government urges British holidaymakers to avoid Blackpool


Holidaymakers have been advised to avoid all but essential travel to parts of Blackpool as tensions between rival stag and hen parties continue to grow.

In the latest violence, several cowboys were involved in confrontations with various comic book super-heroes, and a policeman was injured after being hit by some furry handcuffs thrown by the Pink Ladies from Grease.

The travel advice recommended “immediate departure” for holidaymakers already in the Lancashire seaside town, but in areas where all but essential travel is discouraged, people “should consider whether they have a pressing need to remain.”

The advice highlighted incidents of drunken arseholes flailing about outside kebab shops, including a 23 year-old man who required hospital treatment after getting into a fight with a statue of Les Dawson.

“Trouble between stag and hen parties in fancy dress can flare up at anytime,” warned Blackpool resident Darren Thomas.

“The weekends resemble a cross between Gangs of New York and It’s A Knockout.

“The streets are literally running red.

“Although this is mainly watermelon Bacardi Breezer and WKD.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: