Monday 1 July 2013 by Spacey

Smell of piss at Glastonbury blamed on Rolling Stones


The smell of urine in the air during The Rolling Stones’ Glastonbury set was caused by the elderly musicians on stage and not a chemical toilet malfunction, it has been claimed.

It had been thought that the smell was caused by the high volume of people using portaloos, but it has since been claimed it was due to the high volume of urine on stage, particularly around drummer Charlie Watts.

Festival-goers who had positioned themselves close to the stage for the band’s first ever Glastonbury appearance began complaining of having ‘stinging eyes’ shortly after they took to the stage.

24 year-old Jack Lewis, who had passed out during an earlier set, revealed how he was revived when Keith Richards placed his foot on a stage monitor.

“I’d had too much to drink,” he told us.

“My friends told me that they’d tried to wake me but I was out cold.

“Fortunately, the smell of what must have been Keith Richard’s 19th nervous splashdown soon had me on my feet.

“This is the first festival I’ve been to where the band cover the audience in piss rather than the other way round.”

The Rolling Stones have released a statement claiming they were unaware of any smell apart from that of the dry ice that was used extensively during their performance.

“That wasn’t dry ice, it was piss steam,” revealed a stage technician.

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