Thursday 13 June 2013 by Gary Stanton

Nick Griffin experiences conversion to liberal politics after journey to Damascus


BNP leader Nick Griffin has formally outed himself as a liberal after a ‘deeply religious’ experience on the road to Damsascus, otherwise known as the A417.

Griffin was part of a delegation of far-right politicians intent on monitoring jihadi elements within the Syrian resistance movement when it is believed God intervened in his life and asked him to stop being a racist arsehole.

Those working closely with Griffin claimed he had not been his usual fascist self after the Guardian columnist George Monbiot had appeared to him in a dream.

Unconfirmed reports suggest that shortly afterwards Griffin was spotted mooching around a Damsacus market stall in sandals where he went on to purchase several Bob Marley CDs and a poster of Dappy from N Dubz.

And the normally carnivorous Griffin later stunned other delegates by offering the leader of Hungary’s far right Jobbik party a forkful of his cous-cous, claiming it was a great way to detox.

Griffin Syrian conversion

Earlier this week, Griffin upset his 11 followers on Twitter with the message ‘I want you to know brothers and sisters that, whatever our colour, God created us all equally, even the Welsh.’

Experts believe Griffin’s visions are a form of temporal lobe epilepsy caused by bits of his brain hating each other.

Others suggested that Griffin’s Damascene conversion may be the result of sunstroke after his Factor 50 sun deterrent was confiscated by Heathrow customs officials because he forgot to place it in a specially sealed bag.

The theory received backing last night when Griffin updated his Twitter followers on a day in Lebanon, describing Beirut as having ‘fewer ethnics than the streets of London’ and praised reggae legend Marley for his ‘natural sense of rhythm’.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: