Thursday 13 June 2013 by Formelia Alberthine

Getting paid a wage to put you in debt by 2014


Getting paid a wage is to leave you drowning in debt by 2014, according to the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS).

The IFS report that real-term wages are plummeting at such an alarming rate, that Felix Baumgartner would  struggle to keep up with them.

A spokesman for the Institute, Gregory Pepworth, said the British population would soon have to come to terms with having a better standard of living in death, than when alive.

“It’s a shocking statistic that is sure to have serious repercussions for a large proportion of the working classes,” he told assembled journalists.

“Just standing still is becoming an expense the majority of us simply cannot afford to undertake.”

“Now, I would love to discuss the findings at greater length, but if I hang around much longer my children will have to forego breakfast for the rest of the year.”

“Sorry.”

Wages plummeting

Worker, Sheila Mount, said the thought of going to work and ending up owing money to the exchequer has all the appeal of a UKIP hosted Bar mitzvah.

“They definitely meant the year 2014, yeah?”

“As opposed to 20:14 this evening right?”

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