Wednesday 5 June 2013 by Gary Stanton

House of Lords still having homosexuality explained to them


Peers have voted to back government plans for same-sex marriages in England and Wales, without realising what it involves.

The House of Lords spent two days debating the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill, with many asking to have the whole homosexual thing explained to them again, but more clearly this time.

The motion was eventually backed by 390 votes to 148 after peers were told that ‘it’s a bit like what happened to you at boarding school.’

The bill will now progress to more detailed scrutiny by peers when many will be introduced to concepts such as barebacking and daisy-chains.

Same sex bill passed by Lords

Arguing against the motion, Lord Dear insisted the change would “completely alter the concept of marriage as we know it – of two people bound together in a state of mutual loathing for the sake of the children”.

And Colin Hart, campaign director for the Coalition for Hetero Marriage Only, said there were real concerns that gay weddings would use too much confetti.

Hart said, “We will continue to campaign to save traditional marriage, which is not about two muscular well-oiled guys taking it in turns to penetrate each other before collapsing together in a sweaty prolonged climax they falsely label as ‘love’.”

But Lord Ashdown, voting in favour of the bill, said: “Any lingering doubts I had about same-sex marriage were dispelled by the lesbian kiss scene in Mulholland Drive.”

“From now on your right to a bit on the side will be enshrined in law.”

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