Wednesday 5 June 2013

Calls for middle-lane hoggers to face death penalty


With on the spot fines planned for drivers who needlessly occupy the middle lane of the motorway, many drivers have instead called for a return to capital punishment.

Fines of up to £100 can be issued to the most annoying motorists on the planet, but some have suggested it is simply not a sufficient deterrent to rid our roads of these disgusting creatures.

Driver Simon Williams said, “I consider myself a liberal-minded sort, but I definitely think we should bring back the death penalty for child killers and those people who drive in the middle lane whilst completely oblivious to their surroundings.

“It sounds harsh, but they are beyond redemption. There is no rehabilitation for the sort of arsehole that drives in the middle land like they own the fucker.

“I’ve often driven up alongside them in the inside lane, only for them to steadfastly avoid eye contact. They are scum. Absolute scum. The planet would be a much better place without them.”

Middle lane hoggers

Motoring organisations also backed the calls, with one AA worker telling us, “I’m not saying we should bring back hanging, but some sort of community justice where other road users could beat them to death with a tyre wrench would be quite good, don’t you think?

“A suitable punishment would be served, and we would get to release some of the frustration they have invariably caused me every single goddam day of my commuter life.

“There are plenty of options, but I’m OK as long as they suffer, that’s the main thing.”

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