Wednesday 5 June 2013

Calls for middle-lane hoggers to face death penalty

With on the spot fines planned for drivers who needlessly occupy the middle lane of the motorway, many drivers have instead called for a return to capital punishment.

Fines of up to £100 can be issued to the most annoying motorists on the planet, but some have suggested it is simply not a sufficient deterrent to rid our roads of these disgusting creatures.

Driver Simon Williams said, “I consider myself a liberal, but I definitely think we should bring back the death penalty for child killers and people who drive in the middle lane whilst completely oblivious to their surroundings.”

“I’ve often driven up alongside them in the inside lane, only for them to steadfastly avoid eye contact. Scum. Absolute scum.”

Middle lane hoggers

Motoring organisations also backed the calls, with one AA worker telling us, “I’m not saying we should bring back hanging, but some sort of community justice where other road users could beat them to death with a tyre wrench would be quite good, no?”

“The punishment is served and we get to release some of the frustration they invariably cause me every single goddam day of my commuter life.”

“As long as they suffer, that’s the main thing.”

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