Monday 3 June 2013 by Spacey

Ed Balls pledges a Labour government would be committed to blaming everything on current government


Shadow chancellor Ed Balls has revealed that if Labour win the next general election, they are fully committed to blaming everything on the current government.

Mr Balls told an audience at the headquarters of Thomson Reuters in London that a Labour government would do the opposite of the coalition if they were in power.

“What the coalition are doing is that they are blaming everything on the last government,” he said.

“If Labour wins the election in 2015 we will provide people with an alternative vision in which we will blame everything on the current government.”

Mr Balls also took the opportunity to hit back at accusations that Labour did not have any credible policies.

“It is nonsense to suggest that we do not have any plans should we get into power,” he insisted.

“We have a wide range of policies that we think will appeal to the electorate.

“Our policy on health is that it’s Jeremy Hunt’s fault.

“Our policy on education is that it’s Michael Gove’s fault.

“Our policy on crime is that it’s Theresa May’s fault.

“I could go on and on.”

Ed Balls unveils Labour policies

A Downing Street spokesperson dismissed Mr Balls’ claims and insisted that only a Conservative majority in 2015 would be able to deliver for the British people.

“We will continue to blame Labour until the next election, but victory in 2015 will allow us to change course and blame the Lib Dems instead.”

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg took a more cautious approach to proportioning blame after the next election.

“We’re not sure who we’re going to blame just yet,” he said

“We’ll wait and see who it is that needs a coalition partner.”

UKIP leader Nigel Farage was quick to lambast the three main parties and said that his party would not be playing a “political point-scoring blame game.”

“When we fuck up, we’ll take the honest approach and blame the morons who voted for us,” he said.

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