Wednesday 29 May 2013 by Gary Stanton

EDL invites Muslims in for a pint of ‘premium strength lager’


After several EDL members were offered tea by a York mosque, the EDL has offered to supply largely teetotal UK Muslims with high-strength lager.

By sharing each other’s favourite tipple, the two rival communities hope to forge a new sense of togetherness based on standing side by side in a urinal.

EDL member Simon Williams said, “Race-hate is thirsty work and after a hard day baiting immigrants there’s nothing I like more than to sober up with a mug of tea and a Rich Tea biscuit.”

“Those Muslims in York were just starting to open up to us. Imagine how much progress we would have made if they’d been completely rat-arsed?”

EDL welcome Muslims

Mosque owner Imam Abdullah Ataturk said, “The tea went down very well then one of the skinheads asked us if we had anything stronger.”

“That started me thinking.”

“Tea, biscuits and Kestrel lager are a great and typically Yorkshire combination when it comes to disarming hostile and extremist views. Why didn’t we think of this before?”

Ataturk added, “You’re alright you are , no you are , you’re my best mate. Come and giz a hug.”

Williams responded, “Whether you like it or not, Islam is as much a part of our fackin’ cultural identity as Fish and fackin’ Chips.”

“Its rich strands permeate our society shining a light into our impoverished souls and … do you know where the bogs are in here?”

“Yeah, I’m not going to firebomb the place. I’ve had a word with the lads and we’re happy to leave it at putting the windows through.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: