Sunday 19 May 2013 by Gary Stanton

Scrotums ‘furious’ over Nigel Farage comparisons


Scrotums north and south of the border are absolutely incensed by the suggestion that Nigel Farage is one of them, according to reports.

The comments were made yesterday by members of the SNP who chanted ‘Nigel you’re a bawbag’ at the UKIP leader, while he was busy not being racist in any way whatsoever.

As a result, the non-racist libertarian will be forced to hold his next youth rally in a Shoreditch gastropub.

Scrotums, meanwhile, recoiled with horror at the comparisons and in many cases withdrew right back into their host’s body, where they are refusing to play ball.

Farage comparison

Scrotum, Simon Williams, said “Normally I’m pretty relaxed about this sort of thing and am content to enough just to hang around and chill.”

“You take a lot of knocks in this business and some of them can be quite painful.”

“I know I’m a bit wrinkly but there’s no way I look like that c**t, let alone share any of his beliefs.”

“I just wish people would let me do my job, which is providing a safehouse for the testes, and maintaining their temperature at an optimal level to facilitate the production of millions of sperm via the process known as meiosis.”

“I’ve been fondled by people of all colours and creeds and believe me I’m totally cool with it.”

“The comments made by those protestors were hurtful. I feel as though I’ve been kicked in the nu.. .. well, you see my point?”

Williams concluded, “I’m all for free speech but these remarks our way below the belt.”

“And I should know.”

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