Friday 17 May 2013

Men everywhere urge David Beckham to ‘let himself go a bit’


Men everywhere have said it would be no bad thing if retiring from football meant that David Beckham put on a few pounds and wore the odd pair of sweat pants.

With his retirement from professional sport, many normal men have suggested there is no real reason for him to be constantly in peak physical condition and looking as well it is possible to look.

Man Simon Williams, “I’m sure he’s happy to leave all that training behind, and is there really a further need to have a body fat level in the single digits?”

“Has he considered eating a few pies, or maybe curling up on the sofa to watch the darts with a box of doughnuts?”

“I’m sure he’d like to, and I know my missus would feel a lot better about the way I look if he just started looking a little bit worse.”

“Come on David, do it for the men. You ran round the pitch for the country, now just sit on your arse for a bit for the benefit of half of us.”

Beckham retires

Physical education specialists have said that an overweight David Beckham could threaten gym memberships around the world.

“A fat David Beckham would mean being fat was alright, even cool,” explained one female expert.

“And that would make your boyfriend right all along.”

“So the message is clear, let’s keep Beckham fit – if you see him, chase him like he stole something.”

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