Wednesday 15 May 2013

Dan Brown novel to include teenage wizard who likes bondage


Dan Brown’s latest novel ‘Inferno’ will be owned by all human beings on the planet after it emerged a central character is a teenage wizard who likes to sexually dominate young women.

The storyline, though a heavily protected secret, will see Brown’s Robert Langdon doing battle with an orphaned wizard who for some reason spends every third chapter have graphic sexual encounters with impressionable young women.

Brown told reporters, “What’s important is creating a story that people want to read, and I’ve conducted extensive research to identify the perfect formula for the success of a novel.”

“I’m not going to tell you what it is, you will need to buy it in order to find out.”

“I bet you’ll buy it for the bondage, right?”

Dan Brown novel

Early reviews have been mixed with, with some critics claiming Brown has focussed too heavily on the bits they don’t care about.

“There’s nowhere near enough magic,” claimed one teenage girl who read a preview copy.

Whilst her mother asked us, “Can they do a version that just includes the pages where the wizard has some private time with that young woman?”

“I found that very stimulating.”

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