Wednesday 8 May 2013 by Formelia Alberthine

Howard Webb opts to make himself available on Bosman


As Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson announced he will step down at the end of the season, referee Howard Webb has confirmed he is now seeking a new club.

His agent Paul Mount says Webb’s reputation for influencing key matches at crucial points in the season is sure to see him inundated with enough brown envelopes to create an economic catastrophe.

“His ability to pick out the wrong decision in a crowded penalty box is second to none,” the agent told reporters.

“Combined with his penchant for waving red cards at opposition players he really can relieve the burden on sub standard squads and turn them into champions.”

“You don’t become a favourite of the Stretford End without those sort of abilities.”

Webb seeking transfer

Some inside the game have questioned his fitness as the age of 41, suggesting that maybe his best years are behind him.

“His injury record with paper cuts is the only obvious concern for potential suitors,” continued Mount.

“But he’s open to a pay as you play deal linked to beneficial decisions.”

Interested parties have been asked to formalise their interest with skiing holidays and offers of stocks and shares.

“We need to be sure that the most important part of Sir Alex’s squad is going to receive the same sort of adulation elsewhere.”

“You could see at the weekend when he sent off Rafael at the weekend what happens when the well is about to run dry.”

Chelsea are said to be the early favourites to land the enigmatic referee.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: