Thursday 18 April 2013

We probably need to see a couple more school shootings first, admit US Senators


US Gun controls

The US Senate has rejected plans to extend background checks on people looking to buy guns, insisting the lack of school shootings in the last few weeks means they’re probably not needed.

President Obama sought to bring in tighter gun controls this month, but his proposals were rejected by a Senate that believes further controls are not really needed.

As one senator explained,  “It has been 126 days since anyone shot a small child to death with a gun and ammunition that we have the power to ban, and that’s pretty much the same as it stopping for ever, so why change anything?”

“We’re just creating extra work for ourselves here when our nation’s children are almost certainly not going to be shot today.”

US gun controls rejected

Critics has claimed the delay in the vote was the reason why it did not pass, with one suggesting, “Maybe we should schedule the vote before the children’s bodies are in the ground next time?”

“These senators seem to have quite short-term memories, with the mental image of whoever recently gave them large campaign donations seemingly replacing the last time they saw images of a murdered child.”

Lunatics with dark fantasies about murdering children have welcomed to senate’s rejection of the proposals, insisting it would definitely be unconstitutional to destroy their dreams.

Borderline sociopath Chuck Williams told us, “It’s important that lunatics like me can buy magazines with fifty rounds, that plug easily into automatic weapons that can expend them in the blink of an eye.”

“That’s my American dream right there.”

The National Rifle Association welcomed the Senate vote, insisting it was a “vote for common sense, and the traditional American way – you know, buying the loyalty of officials in high office.”

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