Wednesday 17 April 2013 by Gary Stanton

Heston Blumenthal recipes inspiring new generation of terrorists


Terrorists who packed a pressure cooker full of nails may have stolen the recipe from an old Heston Blumenthal cookbook, it has emerged.

Authorities now fear the Fat Duck chef’s innovative cooking style has been adopted by a new wave of global jihadists seeking to add a dash of culinary flair to everyday chaos and mass murder.

The theory gained ground last year when special agents recovered several of Blumenthal books from Osama Bin Laden’s hideout, including a hardback copy of Heston’s “Kitchen Chemistry” signed by the author.

Indeed Bin Laden’s love for the controversial chef is thought to have provoked a split in the Al Qaeda leadership, with acting head Atiyah Abd al-Rahman known to prefer Jamie Oliver’s freestyle approach.

Blumenthal’s restaurant courted controversy last year when several guests became ill after ingesting weapons-grade plutonium – a flavoursome addition to an ordinary humdrum salad.

And detectives believe Blumenthal’s influence may have spread to homegrown terrorists after plans to freeze the London Underground in liquid nitrogen were found in a basement flat in Muswell Hill.

Kitchen terrorism

Terrorist Simon Williams said, “Heston’s revolutionary approach has completely blown apart the world of cookery-based terrorism and is encouraging young British radicals to think outside the rucksack.”

“My hand-dived scallops in an anthrax jus is designed as a delicious family treat which should force you to fundamentally re-examine your misguided policies from the confines of a high dependency unit.”

“And if potentially fatal seafood isn’t your thing, my award-winning Ricin Pudding is guaranteed to take you out of your comfort zone.”

“All my recipes are prepared with allergy sufferers in mind – check out my blog for more details .”

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