Tuesday 16 April 2013 by Formelia Alberthine

Women don’t have aptitude for amusing ten car pile ups, insists sir Stirling moss


Motor racing legend Sir Stirling Moss has claimed women do not have the requisite mental ineptitude to cause hilarious ten-car pile-ups on a competitive basis in Formula 1.

The former F1 driver feels whilst women may have the necessary mental strength to earn millions for driving round in a loop on a bi-weekly basis, they lack the necessary grey matter to improve the spectacle by recklessly instigating crashes that cost more than the GDP of Scotland.

“It takes a particular type of human to be prepared to risk life and limb sending viewers to sleep in a multi-million pound car on a multi-million pound contract, and that type is ‘male’.”

“Can you image the chaos in the pits when it was, you know, their time of the month?”

“All you’d hear on the radios is, ‘I’m coming back in, I think these new tyres make my rear end look fat’.”

“Huge pile-ups have alway been, and always will be the preserve of anachronistic old fools like me.”

Moss on women drivers

Women’s rights campaigner, Germaine Greer, disagreed, telling reporters, “To say women should not be afforded the same opportunities as men to disappoint television views on wasted Sundays mornings is reprehensible.”

“Women have been disappointing people on the roads for almost a hundred years.”

“They’d be perfect for F1.”

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