Monday 15 April 2013 by Spacey

Wrist injury not connected in any way to Thatcher’s death, insists Ed Miliband


Labour leader Ed Miliband has moved to end speculation over the cause of his broken wrist by insisting the injury definitely occurred while he was “walking”.

Mr Miliband denied that his aching wrist was in any way connected to activities he may have carried out after discovering Margaret Thatcher had died.

“The injury to my wrist was sustained while hill-walking in Devon”, he said.

“And no, hill-walking in Devon isn’t a euphemism for anything!”

Placing a cushion on his lap, Mr Miliband went on to insist that the injury would not stop him attending the funeral of Lady Thatcher on Wednesday.

“Oh God, no! I wouldn’t miss that for the world,” he said excitedly.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an, erm, urgent meeting.”

Miliband injury

A&E departments have reported a marked increase in the number of people being treated for wrist injuries since last Monday.

“The number of people being treated for wrist injuries over the last week has quadrupled,” said a hospital spokesperson.

“The majority of people receiving treatment have also been complaining of blurred vision.

“We are trying to determine whether there’s a connection between aching wrists and bad eyesight.”

Respect MP George Galloway has furiously denied accusations of ‘hill-walking’ after he also picked up a wrist injury last week.

“I got it from non-stop wanking,” he boasted

“The clean up operation is going to cost a fortune.”

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