Thursday 11 April 2013

Morons still keen to retain decomposing organs after death


Retaining possession of their decomposing body parts after they die is really important to some morons, according to new figures.

Despite organ donations being up 50% since 2008, millions of people are steadfastly insisting that post-mortem possession is not something to take lightly.

As someone keen to ensure his organs putrefy inside his cadaver, Simon Williams told us, “Just because I’m dead and have no use for my liver, heart or lungs, doesn’t mean I don’t want them to liquify inside my cold dead corpse.”

“Giving them to someone else to walk around with them inside their body is just icky.  It’s much better if they become a cold dead corpse, too.”

“That way all the organs can rot inside coffins together. But in different coffins – that would be icky, too.”

Organ donations increasing

The rise in donors has been welcomed by medical professional and anyone who has benefitted from them, but still significant numbers of morons insist they want no part of it.

One organ transplant surgeon said the solution to people wanting to take their organs into the grave was a straight forward one, telling us, “It’s easy, if you opt out of organ donations, then you’re not entitled to an organ donation.”

“I don’t care how sick you get, if you opted out, you’re out.”

“It’s funny, because no-one has ever complained about us using their organs after we’ve taken them.”

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