Monday 8 April 2013

Fundraisers announce plans for Margaret Thatcher memorial dancefloor

Fundraisers have announced they are close to raising enough money to create a fitting memorial for Margaret Thatcher, where people can dance till exhaustion at the thought of her passing.

With Lady Thatcher’s actual grave unlikely to accommodate more than half a dozen dancing socialists at a time, the memorial is expected to provide a dancing area to compete with some of the capital’s best known nightclubs.

Lead fund-raiser Simon Williams told us, “With millions of people claiming they would happily dance on her grave, we’re expecting to be one of the biggest attractions in London.”

“We thought about charging people, but that’s probably what she would have wanted.”

“There’ll be a life-size statue of Thatcher beneath a sign that reads, ‘Definitely Still Dead’, and an opportunity to select from one of the specially prepared playlists.”

“Just some uptempo tunes to really get the blood pumping and those feet moving – that sort of thing.”

Thatcher memorial

Many in the north of the country have welcomed the memorial plans, explaining it will finally give them a reason to visit London.

Former miner Shane Jones explained, “We must be careful not to mourn at this time, as I’m pretty sure her soul fed on the misery of others and there’s a danger too much grief could bring her back to life, stronger than ever.”

“But I do think a public dance floor sounds like a fitting tribute to Thatcher’s legacy.”

Fund raiser Williams explained they weren’t quite finished yet, telling us, “For another £100k we can get those flashing squares like in Saturday Night Fever.  Fancy chucking in a few quid?”

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