Saturday 6 April 2013 by Spacey

Racehorses to take thrill-seeking to the next level


Racehorses have begun the search for a new thrill to satisfy their apparent love of danger, with BASE Jumping, bungee Jumping and skydiving amongst the options under consideration.

The equine adrenalin junkies, who like nothing more than putting their lives at risk by jumping over fences the size of a bungalow, have dismissed claims that they have little choice when it comes to their participation in the sport.

Speaking through humans who claim to know best, racehorses have been eager to reveal how much they enjoy it.

One horseracing enthusiast, who claimed to be channelling the spirit of one of last year’s fatalities, Synchronised, said, “If you ask anyone involved in horseracing they’ll tell you how much horses love it.

“The possibility of their legs snapping like a breadstick in a vice is what they live for.

“Seriously, horses need someone sat on their back hitting them with a stick just to stop them getting carried away.”

Horse adrenaline junkies

Two horses have already died at Aintree this year, but racing fans insist its what they would have wanted.

“To suggest that it’s cruel to run a horse until its heart explodes is ill-informed nonsense,” insisted one punter.

“People who express concern at horses being euthanised as a result of injury really don’t understand the sport.

“We’ve undertaken a foolproof in-depth study that proves beyond doubt that horses would run even if they knew the risks.

“The results show conclusively that if their ears are pricked then they’re good to go.”

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