Wednesday 3 April 2013

You are still poor, confirms author of new seven level class system


New 7 class system for the UK

Despite the introduction of a seven-class society, you still don’t have two brass halfpennies to rub together, experts have claimed today.

The Great British Class survey spoke to 161,000 people to find new ways of describing people who don’t have any money, creating four new ways of saying ‘skint’.

Professor of sociology at Manchester University, Simon Williams, said the survey really gave a sense of class in a 21st Century Britain where no-one has any money.

He told us, “We now have the proletariat without any money, the emergent service workers without any money, and even the traditional working class without any money.”

“Under the old system these people would simply have been described as ‘poor’, whereas now we describe them as poor and also include a bit about what they do to remain poor.”

New classes of society

The new system has been welcomed by members of the lower classes, saying it gives them something they previously didn’t have.

Lifetime member of the traditional working classes Shane Matthews told us, “What’s really important in all of this is that there are now some well-defined groups that I am definitely better than.”

“After all, what is the point of a class system if you don’t have a number of groups to look down upon?”

“And now even the minimum wage slaves like myself have a large selection of people to look down their nose at – it truly is a utopian Tory vision of society.”

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