Tuesday 2 April 2013

Di Canio refutes fascist claims by banning anyone who disagrees with him


New Sunderland manager Paulo Di Canio has moved to address concerns he is a fascist by banning anyone who claims he is a fascist.

With many fans of the club still keen to understand if they have borderline dangerous nutjob in charge of their team, reporters have repeatedly asked Di Canio to comment on his previous statements in support of a fascist ideology.

However Di Canio has refused to answer such questions, before telling the remaining journalists, “If I was a fascist would I ban journalists who asked questions I didn’t like, or who wrote stories I hadn’t given my full approval for?”

“Just because I don’t want you to have the freedom to write what you want, doesn’t make me a fascist.”

“We’ll get along just fine as long you do exactly as I say and behave how I want you to.”

Di Canio Fascist claims

Supporter groups have defended their new manager, insisting that just because you say fascist things, and do fascist things, and support fascist things, doesn’t make you a fascist.

Season ticket holder Simon Williams told us, “As Paulo himself said, the liberal media in this country have twisted what he said by printing it its correct context, making his support of fascism seem like an endorsement of fascism.”

“I will be there with the rest of the fans outside the stadium this evening, burning any publication Paulo says is bad for us.”

“So call him a fascist if you want. Though to be fair, if he could guarantee 12 points from the next seven games I’d be happy to see the team managed by Bashar al-Assad.”

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