Monday 1 April 2013 by Spacey

Sunderland fans to embrace Fascism


Supporters of Premier League club Sunderland have begun keenly studying the Fascist ideology after Paolo Di Canio was appointed as their head coach.

The former Lazio striker and self-proclaimed fascista has joined the struggling side after they sacked Martin O’Neil, and now face a battle for premier league survival.

A number of candidates for the vacant position had been touted, but the prospect of the hot-headed Italian inhabiting the dugout at the stadium of light for the rest of the season has been greeted with excitement by some fans.

“Di Canio will give the team strong leadership, a singular collective identity, and the will and ability to commit violence and wage war in order to keep the club strong. It’s a no-brainer!” said one enthusiastic season ticket holder.

“Let’s be honest, I think we’d all take a little authoritarian indoctrination in order to secure Premier League football for another season.”

Di Canio heading to Sunderland

Another fan told us, “I’ve read a bit about fascism, and I was particularly interested in the stuff about eugenics.”

“If Paolo can improve the genetic composition of the youth squad then that can only benefit us in the long-term.”

Other fans of the club have expressed mixed emotions over their new boss, with one telling us “Every time I think of a positive point about him joining us it always ends with ‘but he’s a fascist’.”

“It’s like if your son came home to tell you he’d joined the Ku Klux Klan – you’d hate it, but at the same time you have no choice but to still love him – it’s much the same with Paolo.”

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