Wednesday 20 March 2013

Bill Roache’s tedious career due to being ‘a proper shit’ in previous life


Bill Roache past lives

Playing Ken Barlow for 53 tedious years means Bill Roache must have been a rapist or something in a previous life, according to reincarnation experts.

With bad things happening to you in this life a definite sign of being a ‘wrong-un’ in a previous one, experts have claimed that having a mind-numbing career must mean you committed one of the ‘big three’ in a previous incarnation.

“Rapist, murderer, or politician – he had to be one of those, definitely,” claimed Simon Williams, a registered past life regression practitioner.

“If you’ve spent your entire working life doing the same endlessly dreary thing, over and over again, day after endless day, then it’s probably because you were an MP in a previous life.”

“Making people’s lives miserable inevitably means your next one will be, too.”

“I’d love to work with Bill, to find out which MP he was – probably one of those who implemented the work houses of the Victorian era.  That or he killed lots of prostitutes and called himself Jack.”

Bill Roache past lives

Speculation is rife among the past-life community as to exactly what Bill Roach might have done in centuries gone by.

Matt Michaels has studied Roache’s career in the past few days, telling us, “I’ve seen Coronation Street, and I have to say his role in that drivel must be the culmination of many terrible past lives, not just one.”

“I’d bet he’s got pasts that go right back to Roman times.  I mean, he had to kiss Anne Kirkbride on-screen for years, so it wouldn’t surprise me if he was Pontius Pilate himself.”

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