Tuesday 19 March 2013 by @oliverjacollis

Tiger Woods reveals next woman he’ll be cheating on


Tiger Woods dating Lindsey Vonn

14-time major champion Tiger Woods has used Facebook to announce girlfriend Lindsey Vonn as the next woman he will cheat on.

The former world number one denied rumours that he has learnt from his past and said he will be looking to hire a string of prostitutes in the next few days.

Mr Woods divorced Elin Nordegren in 2010 after a string of extra marital affairs, and many have wondered how long it would take for a woman to believe he had changed.

“Now it’s official that we are dating I will be doing my utmost to return to my philandering ways in the comings weeks and months,” the Nike sponsored golf giant said.

“If I learnt anything from my time with Elin it is that cheating is exciting and that getting new birdies is one of my favourite things.”

Tiger Woods dating

Woods revealed he is still addicted to sex and doesn’t care that his new girlfriend is an Olympic gold medallist, insisting he was likely chase after the first ass he sees when leaving Florida tomorrow morning for a golf tournament.

Woods claimed he has to cheat because the rules of golf are so strict, and that he makes up for his lack of cheating on the golf course by cheating as much as he can off of it.

“If they hadn’t have made the rules of golf so strict things may have been different,” he said.

“But looking back on the amount of girls I’ve ploughed, probably not.”

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