Tuesday 19 March 2013

Our prices will probably go up by about 20% as well, admit child care companies


Child care payment scheme

After the government announced it will pay 20% towards child care costs, child care companies who now believe their customers can afford to pay 20% more, welcomed the move.

The new policy will come into force after the next election in 2015, which is a coincidence as this is when the industry was planning to put their prices up by about 20%.

A spokesperson for the industry explained, “We’ve been thinking of increasing our prices for a while, honestly, and we thought something like 20% would probably be fair considering that we’re looking after your children – which you value quite highly, right?”

“I suppose it’s quite fortunate that the government is going to cover this price rise so that parents aren’t any worse off than they are today.”

“Apart from all the ways they’re currently worse off, obviously.”

Child care scheme

The spokesperson went on, “Maybe we could find some way of cutting out the middle-man – or parents if you want to call them that – and get the government to find a way of paying that money directly to us business owners?”

“They seem to have found a way of doing that in other areas, so I don’t know why we should be any different.”

23-year-old child care worker Sarah Williams told us, “I quite like the idea of getting a 20% pay rise actually… Wait. What? I’m not getting a pay rise and the extra money will go into the pocket of the company I work for?”

“Oh.”

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