Monday 18 March 2013 by Gary Stanton

Wembley to host all-star Free Chistopher Huhne concert


Chris Huhne in prison

Rock stars like Bob Geldof and The Edge are organising the biggest protest concert since the Free Nelson Mandela gig in support of banged-up politician Christopher Huhne.

Huhne was mercilessly jailed last week for passing on his speeding points, a crime many see as no worse than pulling a handbrake turn on a council estate.

The former Energy Secretary faces a bleak four months maximum behind bars, the only creature comforts available to him being those smuggled in via William Hague’s rectum.

Bob Geldof said, “I watched the report about Christopher’s sentence on TV and it moved me to tears. Then the tears turned to anger.”

“How could a so-called civilised society such as the one we live in allow this to happen? The guy has been stripped of his basic human dignity.”

“Have you any idea how difficult it is to get hold of a tin of caviar in prison?”

“I thought we have to do something. I left a message on Midge Ure’s voicemail, but he didn’t get back to me.”

“I then rang Jim Kerr out of Simple Minds, but he’s still really annoyed about tuition fees so I didn’t push it.”

Chris Huhne benefit gig

“Just as I was about to give up I got a call from Bono. It was on the landline we reserve for organising charity concerts.”

Bono said,  “I remembered how the South African government changed their minds about black people after listening to the lyrics of Mandela Day. We hope to secure this man’s release in the same way that we freed Mandela.”

Plans for the concert have since gathered pace with the surviving members of Bananarama coming on board and Bono’s friend The Edge set to auction one of his guitars.

Bono added, “Every time I click my fingers somebody asks Chris Huhne to bend over and pick the soap up.”

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