Monday 18 March 2013

Callum McManaman to teach military field medics how to remove legs in battle


Callum mcmanaman

British armed forces are to learn the best way to remove limbs from injured comrades thanks to the skilled feet of Wigan forward Callum McManaman.

McManaman claims to have perfected a new medical procedure which will allow surgeons to remove a patient’s leg below the knee with one swift kicking motion.

With many soldiers at risk of IEDs in other parts of the world, the swift removal of damaged limbs can sometimes mean the difference between life and death.

McManaman told reporters, “A leg that is beyond repair, and likely to cause significant infection is far better removed cleanly, but that is a surgery which can be complicated, expensive and above all impractical on the field of battle.”

“However, with my new technique, the leg can be removed in seconds and all you need is a pair of size 8 Adidas football boots.”

“With the right timing the patient can be down to one leg and one bloody stump before you know it.”

McManaman technique

Health experts have said the McManaman technique could equally be applied to other limbs, with arms likely to be the next for testing.

McManaman continued, “I can’t say I’ve ever tried it with an arm, but I suppose I could get it off cleanly with a bit of practise, in principle any way.”

“Perhaps someone should try taking a throw-in in front of me on Saturday and we’ll see how we get on?”

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