Friday 15 March 2013 by Spacey and Gary Stanton

Economic Forecast: Latest


It’s not looking good for many areas of the UK as we see a sustained period of heavy blame drifting in from the south-east before moving away and settling on the poor.

This afternoon, dark clouds will cover much of the UK, but David Cameron’s tan will remain largely unaffected.

An area of low intelligence centred around Whitehall is expected to cause difficult living conditions for 99% of the country.

It will be minus 20. After that, it’s unlikely that George Osborne’s IQ will fall any lower.

Expect to see periods of incompetence merging to form longer spells of complete buffoonery to coincide with the morning rush hour.

A storm originating in the Westminster area should see most of the country’s assets frozen by lunchtime.

By the evening, sweeping cuts are expected to cause floods of tears in poorer areas.

Over the weekend, a deep depression affecting benefit claimants is expected to worsen due to a bitterly cold Iain Duncan Smith.

Credibility is expected to plummet by Sunday, with the frost most severe in pensioners and the homeless.

Further warnings have been issued for next week after it became clear that Hurricane George is ignoring all logic and continuing in the same direction.

Conditions will make driving extremely difficult due to no-one being able to afford any petrol.

A deep depression is expected to remain over much of the UK causing the electorate in some regions to become increasingly unsettled.

Wednesday will be dominated by the budget with glimpses of sunlight reserved for the few, and showers falling increasingly as blood in more rural areas after dark.

A continuing drop in living standards will sweep through the UK with participants in offshore tax schemes remaining unaffected.

Overcast, dull and murky, George Osborne’s economic record shows little sign of improving this or any other week

Those in the London area can expect the odd rumble of thunder in the evening, but this will just be George Osborne moving his furniture out of No. 11.

If you’re looking ahead to the Summer then don’t get your hopes up because a band of frustration meeting a lack of hope will result in prolonged downpours of bricks in built-up areas.

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