Friday 8 March 2013 by Spacey

Magic money trees found growing in the Cayman Island


David Cameron’s claim that there are no magic money trees has been debunked after acres of cash was discovered to be growing in abundance on the Cayman Islands.

Mr Cameron made the claim yesterday during a speech in West Yorkshire in which he criticised people who suggested that more spending is required to kick-start economic growth.

“It’s as if they think there’s some magic money tree. Well let me tell you a plain truth: there isn’t,” he claimed.

However, arborists have revealed that magic money trees can actually be found in plentiful supply on three islands in the western Caribbean Sea.

“Magic money trees thrive in areas of no tax,” one arborist told us.

“They are in bloom all-year round and are a heavily protected species.”

Money tree identified

Claims made by Mr Cameron that the government are “paying down Britain’s debts” have also been called into question after it was revealed that the national debt was in reality increasing.

“Mr Cameron appears to have adopted an interesting tactic for reducing the UK’s debt which involves saying it’s going down in the hope no-one notices it’s going up,” explained 4 year-old Freddie Lewis.

“His declaration that he is sticking to the same plan is an attempt to create an impression of steely resolve, but instead creates an impression of being an enormous twat.

“This combined with his denial of magic money trees just shows how out of touch he is.”

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