Friday 1 March 2013

Undercover policeman job applications up 750,000%


PC Mark Kennedy undercover

Jobs where you get paid to lie to women about who you are before having sex with them, are incredibly popular according to new figures released today.

With reports detailing the sexual escapades of undercover policeman PC Mark Kennedy, every man has spoken of his willingness to ‘give that a go’.

Simon Williams told us, “I’d always thought that being a policeman would be an incredibly tedious mixture of giving crap directions to lost morons and being sworn at by tramps.

“Every policeman I’ve ever seen looks utterly miserable, but it turns out I couldn’t be more wrong. I guess they were all grinning like bastards on the inside.

“Being a policeman sounds a lot like being James Bond, only without the cool gadgets and being allowed to be a lot less attractive.”

Undercover policeman sexual guidelines

Police forces around the county have been inundated by applications from lonely virgins claiming they would happily grow their hair for as long as it’s needed in order to have sex with someone who calls them ‘Flash’.

However normal man Mike Wallace told us, “I don’t see the big deal.

“I’ve been lying to women about my identity and sleeping with them for years now; I’d reckon I’d make a brilliant undercover officer.”

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