Monday 11 February 2013 by Spacey

Foxes developing ability to carry out low-level car crime


Following news that foxes have developed the ability to walk through open doors, there have been increased calls to repeal the hunting ban after claims they have also developed the ability to carry out opportunistic car crime.

The latest fox crime incident, which involved the theft of a Mitsubishi Shogun after its owner left the keys in the ignition, has added further weight to the pro-hunt argument.

The Countryside Alliance are just one of a number of groups calling for the reintroduction of hunting amid accusations that the criminal activities of foxes are becoming increasingly sophisticated.

“I think by committing crime, foxes are basically begging us to hunt them,” insisted a spokesperson

“We’ve actually carried out a survey and the results reveal that 76% of foxes like being hunted.

“Look, we’ve put it on a car sticker and everything, so it’s definitely true.”

Fox crime

London Mayor Boris Johnson insisted that more needs to be done to tackle the scourge of the urban fox, and called for the criminal activities of foxes to be included in the national crime figures.

“Knocking over bins is one thing, but we can’t have foxes sneaking into the bedrooms of small children,” he blasted.

“Foxes are not only biting the hand that feeds them, they’ve now moved on to gnawing off the fingers as well.”

Mr Johnson went on criticise the public’s misconception that foxes are cute, harmless animals that are only acting on their natural instincts, and urged people to re-examine their attitudes.

“He may appear cuddly but he’s a pest and a menace, particularly in our cities,” responded a fox.

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