Monday 11 February 2013

Eskimos baffled as Brits unveil 162 phrases for ‘can’t get to work because of the snow’


Snow excuses baffle eskimos

Eskimo communities everywhere have been left confused after the British working population unveiled over one hundred phrases which all mean ‘I can’t get to work today as there’s been some more snow’.

With another flurry of snow seen overnight across the country, creative linguists have found themselves explaining their plight to management everywhere.

Office worker Simon Williams told us, “Sure, I can understand why the Eskimos might be a little confused as to why anyone would need so many different phrases to say what is essentially the exact same thing.

“But they have to understand that in our society we need a variety of ways to plead our excuses for avoiding work – “I’m not coming in” simply doesn’t work for us.

“Not all excuses are the same, and we have to have ways of differentiating between them.

“When making excuses dominates their society as much as it does ours, they’ll understand why we have so many ways of articulating them.”

Eskimo and Siberian resident Alignak Smith told us, “It’s all very silly, don’t you think? How can you possibly have so many ways of articulating the exact same excuse?

“Surely ‘I can’t get my car off the drive’ is very much the same as ‘the buses don’t seem to be running’, which is almost identical to ‘it’s too dangerous to cycle in today’?

“It seems like a huge waste of effort to have all these superfluous phrases with an identical meaning.

“Wouldn’t it be much simpler for you all to say, ‘I don’t want to come in today as I fancy a free day at home’?”

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