Tuesday 5 February 2013 by Spacey

People who tell people to move to Iran if they don’t like it, urged to move to Iran if they don’t like it


With it looking increasingly likely that the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill will be passed through parliament later today, the sort of people whose political views generally consist of telling other people to ‘move to Iran if you don’t like it’ have been urged to move to Iran if they don’t like.

Miriam Berkley-Jones from Cheltenham is just one of a minority of people who are opposed to equal marriage and is adamant that even discussing such a move will result in God going mental with a big smiting stick.

Speaking of her objection to the majority of people having an opinion which is different to hers, Mrs Berkley-Jones revealed that her vision of Utopia and Dystopia are remarkably similar.

“If all the complainers moved to Iran then they’d be moving to a country where people have to do as they are told,” she told us

“Let’s see how they’d like that!

“Britain really would be a much better place if people just stopped complaining and did as they were told.”

Same sex marriage vote

Mrs Berkley-Jones was also insistent that redefining marriage would cause an untold amount of complications that people hadn’t taken the time to consider.

“Has anyone thought about how this will affect lexicographers,” she asked.

“They will find themselves in a situation where they will have to remove a couple of words and add some others.

“If you go around changing the meaning of words then before you know it we’ll all be speaking French,” she warned.

Clearly unable to tell the difference between a valid argument and inconsequential whining, she went on to describe equal marriage as an unnecessary distraction, and insisted that the economy should be the government’s only priority.

“We should be focusing on the economy and…….look, I don’t like gays, alright!” she admitted.

“If you don’t like it why don’t you just move to Iran?!

“Oh, wait…”

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