Thursday 31 January 2013

Jim White’s deadline day erection enters fifth hour


Jim White deadline day

As the January transfer window enters its final moments, producers on Sky Sports News have reported that Jim White’s erection shows no sign of abating.

The over exuberant Scot is said to have been tumescent ever since someone tweeted the possibility of Norwich signing Celtic’s Gary Hooper at 4pm this afternoon.

A Sky Sports spokesperson exclaimed,”It’s true, Jim is going for the record.”

“We all believe he can keep it up until after the window closes. He’s showing no signs of letting up, though he’s not been able to go to the toilet, obviously.”

“We just grateful that Beckham didn’t sign for QPR, as we’re pretty sure he would have thrown his man muck all over the desk.”

Jim White over-excited

His performance this transfer window has led to calls for compulsory drug testing in sports broadcasting.

Viewer Simon Williams told us, “There’s no way a man of his age can keep it up so consistently without a bit of pharmaceutical assistance.”

“Sure he’ll take the plaudits now, but I’ve no doubt in a couple of years we’ll see him confessing to Oprah he’s been chomping on Viagra like they were Smarties.”

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