The Office of Fair Trading has said that the petrol industry is working perfectly well for people who do not use petrol in any way shape or form.
The OFT said that little action was needed, and that the market was actually really quite good if you didn’t partake in it whatsoever.
An OFT spokesman explained, “Having looked at the evidence, we find that competition is working well for non-consumers of petrol, and we see no reason to take action.”
“In fact, people with no reliance on petrol seem pretty happy about how the market is operating. Some might even call them ‘smug’.”
“Whatever you call them, they’re certainly in no hurry for us to get involved.”
Petrol market ‘working well’
However people with cars, lorries, motorbikes, or who buy things from companies that use them, have asked the OFT to clarify their definition of ‘Fair Trading’.
Car owner Simon Williams told us, “Wouldn’t it be nice if the Office of Fair Trading just pointed out that the government’s fuel duty was a little on the ‘unfair’ side?”
“I’m not averse to them taxing petrol, but 65% of the price I pay at the pump is tax – it takes taking the piss to a whole new level.”
An OFT spokesperson responded to Williams’ commented, telling us, “Criticise our bosses? Are you mental?”