Wednesday 30 January 2013 by Spacey

Nick Clegg to ease pressure on leadership by playing Aston Villa


Nick Clegg is to relieve the pressure on his leadership of the Liberal Democrats by playing Premier League strugglers Aston Villa.

Clegg is keen to arrange a fixture after being alerted to the fact that a number of sides have been able to get their campaigns back on track after facing the Midlands club.

“Nick has faced much opposition from within the party, so he is keen to face something that will offer no opposition whatsoever,” confirmed a spokesperson.

“He admits that has made promises that he hasn’t kept, and much like Aston Villa he can offer little in defence, but he hopes a morale boosting victory will act as a catalyst for turning things around.”

Clegg to face Villa

Villa, who are currently languishing in the drop zone following a defeat by an episode of Loose Women, have the worst goal difference in the Premier League and have been knocked out of both cup competitions by lower league teams.

With Paul Lambert’s side facing a run of tricky games against a painting of the Duchess of Cambridge, a small child playing a recorder and a broken umbrella that has been abandoned in a public bin, the Aston Villa manager has urged his side “to fight like hell”.

“We’ve got to believe that we can beat anyone,” he insisted.

“We’ve been working hard in training and hopefully all that hard work will pay off.

“The defence have had a sit down and a chat amongst themselves about how they can improve their performances.

“Unfortunately they were playing in a game at the time and we went 3-0 down.

“It’s all about getting the basics right.”

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