Saturday 26 January 2013 by Spacey

Odds of successful bookmakers robbery drift out to 33-1


Bookmakers have lengthened the odds of someone carrying out a successful armed robbery in a betting shop to 33-1.

Bookies throughout the UK are keen to offer punters the opportunity to bet on the outcome of anything from violent crime to whether Aston Villa are going to lose or lose heavily.

“We want to provide our customers with the chance to become separated from their money in a range of exciting ways,” said a Ladbrokes spokesperson.

“Whether that be trying to determine which horse is the fastest or attempting to successfully guess how many members of the public will be assaulted by a Premier League footballer during a 15 minute period.

“We also offer a selection of machines that will empty your pockets with such speed and efficiency that you’ll have plenty of time to work out how you’re going to explain to the wife where the rent money has gone.

“And Remember, If you tell her you were mugged, technically you’re not lying.”

Betting shops

Punters who successfully backed an attempted robbery in Plymouth being foiled have been left disappointed after a steward’s enquiry was called.

“Betting shops are predominantly inhabited by men,” the Ladbrokes spokesman said.

“Anyone who has encountered the odour upon entering one of our establishments will tell you that it would be unclear at this stage whether the use of a gas mask was for disguise purposes or merely a sensible precaution.”

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