Thursday 24 January 2013 by Formelia Alberthine

InjuryLawyers4U make Swansea ball-boy transfer bid


Car-crash voyeurs InjuryLawyers4U, have asked Swansea for permission to speak with their ball-boy, Charlie Morgan, following reported injuries sustained during an off-field altercation with Chelsea midfielder, Eden Hazard.

Morgan, 17, was seen to shield a ball from being returned into play during last nights Capital One cup semi-final second leg, falling to the ground where Hazard appeared to lavish his right boot into the ribs of the prone teenager.

Spokesman for InjuryLawyers4U, Saul Mee, said the ball-boy’s ability to sustain injuries in front of a global audience had convinced the company to make their move.

He told us, “With the January transfer window coming to a close shortly, we thought it best to make an immediate offer.”

“This case practically writes itself.”

“Ball-boy dives to floor, defenceless, in front of millions and millions of viewers and is ruthlessly beaten by a multi-millionaire footballer, I mean come on!”

“I’m dizzy from the number of zeroes I’m seeing on the payout cheque.”

Mee said he was unconcerned about purported tweets from the ball-boy, which appeared to show his time-wasting was intentional.

“You mean he planned it?”

“Oh he’s just perfect.”

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