Wednesday 23 January 2013

France tells southern England, ‘he who smelt it, dealt it’


A foul smell across the south of England must have been created by the English people who first noticed it, according to France.

Though early reports suggest the smell comes from a chemical plant near Rouen, French authorities have insisted that the rules regarding such incidents are very clear.

A French spokesperson explained, “In our country we have a saying, I believe the literal translation is ‘He who smelt it, dealt it’.”

“You know, he who noted it, floated it? I think you understand now, yes?”

Though the stance has been declared ‘completely unacceptable’ by the UK’s Department for the Environment Food and Rural Affairs, the French went on to say, “He who berated it, created it.”

French smell

A DEFRA spokesperson told us, “We’ve supplied them with incontrovertible evidence to show that the smell is coming from them, but all they said in response was ‘he who deduced it, produced it’.”

“So we’ve been left with no other option but to escalate the matter the office of the prime minister, who I believe has written to the French ambassador this morning.”

“His letter merely says, ‘He who denied it supplied it’.”

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