Tuesday 22 January 2013 by Gary Stanton

Prince Harry waved genitals at Taliban, admits Prince Harry


Prince Harry habitually waved his love truncheon at Taliban insurgents while flying a helicopter in Afghanistan, it has emerged.

The prince, whose five-month deployment to the country has just ended, spoke about his role as an Apache co-pilot gunner, and his fondness for spraying enemy positions with regal ball sauce.

On his duties in Afghanistan, the prince was asked: “You are the man with the trigger in your hand, and if called upon, you will fire, and presumably you have and you will hit the enemy in the eye?”

His Royal Highness responded: “Yeah, so lots of people have. The squadron’s been out here. Everyone’s fired a certain amount,” he said.

“If there are people trying to do bad stuff to our guys, then we’ll take them out of the game, by pulling one’s foreskin right back and showing them one’s full-on glans.”

Harry in Afghanistan

And the prince confirmed he has recently stepped up intensive training in how to fly low over an enemy position while allowing a bollock to slip out unnoticed.

However, the prince could find himself in hot dirty water after it was revealed that jizzing in someone’s hair from altitude is outlawed by the Geneva Convention.

Last night a Taliban spokesman confirmed that one of its senior commanders had committed suicide after witnessing the prince’s ginger pubic hair.

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