Tuesday 22 January 2013

FA urged to employ a native English speaker


After admitting it needs help understanding the phrase ‘he had a really poor game’, the FA has been urged to think about buying an English dictionary.

The FA has asked Sir Alex Ferguson to clarify his comments after Manchester United’s recent game against Tottenham, after failing to understand the intention behind the mostly single syllable words used by the Glaswegian.

Linguistic expert Simon Williams explained, “Sir Alex has used a string of words to convey a sentiment that would be recognised by most five year-olds, so no, it does not surprise me that the English FA need help following what was said.”

“Perhaps someone should draw them a picture, or walk it through with them step by step?”

FA require Ferguson clarification

Williams went on, “What Ferguson has done is essentially say that the linesman is rubbish. I’m not sure what they need clarifying?”

“If I was Ferguson I’d tell them it was a coded message to his wife to put the kettle on – the morons at the FA would probably believe him.”

To assist the FA in future, we have prepared a short guide to the words used by Sir Alex Ferguson, and their intended meaning:

“He had a really poor game” = The assistant referee had a really poor game

“There was no way the linesman was going to give that” = The assistant referee was never going to give us that penalty

“With Chelsea a couple of years back, he gave onside to Didier Drogba and he was three yards offside.” = 3 years ago when playing Chelsea, the assistant referee judged Didier Drogba to be onside when he was three yards offside

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