Thursday 17 January 2013 by Gary Stanton

Coalition policies found to contain huge quantities of horseshit


A number of government policies have been found to contain high levels of horseshit, according to reports.

A study was conducted after people on the receiving end of Coalition policies claimed they smelt a bit off and left them feeling that a thoroughbred had shat in their mouths.

Researchers found that George Osborne’s economic policy contained up to eighty per cent horse shit, with the other twenty per cent consisting of regular bullshit.

The public have reacted with disgust at being expected to swallow such high levels of horseshit, and called on the government to be more open about the sort of shit they are spouting.

“When David Cameron appears on the my television I expect nothing else but 100% pure bullshit,” slammed 42 year-old Gareth Wesley.

“It’s not the fact that I’ve also been fed horseshit, it’s the fact that they’ve not been open about the sort of shit they’re giving me.”

Horse Shit

The findings will come as a blow to both Nick Clegg and David Cameron who are still trying to restore the public’s confidence after it was discovered they fed the electorate a complete crock of shit prior to the 2010 election.

A Downing Street spokesperson apologised for the discovery of horseshit in their policies, but insisted that there is very little difference between horseshit and bullshit.

“I would like to reassure the public that at the end of the day it’s all shit.

“It’s all just a big pile of shit.”

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