Monday 14 January 2013 by Spacey

FA to consider replacing tackling with Rock-Paper-Scissors


After Man City defender Vincent Kompany was given a red card for tackling Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere, new rules are being considered that will mean footballers will only be able to gain possession of the ball by successful participation in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

The FA is also considering a number of other measures to decide who gets the ball such ‘Eeny, meeny, miny, moe’ or a penalty shoot out.

Kompany was dismissed in the 75th minute for blatantly using of his feet to make contact with the ball in full view of referee Mike Dean.

“The introduction of coin-tossing technology is something we are looking at,” confirmed an FA spokesperson.

“We’re also looking at the viability of drawing straws or the referee carrying a pack of playing cards.

“We need to look at ways that will eliminate any chance of players getting their kits a bit muddy.”

Tackling outlawed

Manchester City have confirmed they will appeal against the decision to send off Kompany and urged the FA to do “right thing”.

The FA insisted that they will investigate the incident thoroughly to determine whether to uphold or rescind the red card.

“We have a process we follow that we believe is fair and which I am happy to demonstrate,” the spokesperson confirmed

“Ip, dip, dog shit, you are not it.”

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