Thursday 10 January 2013

Could we try shipping all our prisoners to the other side of the world, ask tax payers


As the government announced plans to build a new super-prison, cash conscious tax payers have suggested the cheaper alternative of hiring a boat and shipping all of our criminals to the other side of the world.

The government’s new super prison will replace nine smaller prisons which are being closed or partially shut down, and will still definitely be located somewhere in this country.

Tax payer Mike Smith told us, “I don’t see why we should pay all this money to house criminals in a new facility, when there are plenty of desolate islands thousands of miles away where we could dump them.”

“I can’t believe no-one has suggested this before to be honest. It makes perfect sense to me.”

“Maybe we could send them to some large island with loads of space and plenty of dangerous animals and stuff?”

Super prison

Experts in prison reform have claimed the suggested transfer of prisoners to the other side of the world is fraught with potential long-term risks.

Criminal Justice analyst Simon Williams told us, “It’s a dangerous idea, certainly, as these criminals could ultimately build a community and grow into quite an annoying country in years to come.”

“But nobody ever thinks of that.”

“Fortunately they wouldn’t be any good at sports, as anyone capable of running and jumping never gets caught by the police anyway.”

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