Monday 31 December 2012 by Spacey

Poor people still clinging to life, warns Iain Duncan Smith


Iain Duncan Smith tax credits

The work and pensions secretary has issued a stark warning that some poor people are stubbornly clinging to life despite his best efforts to remove them from the welfare system by killing them off.

Writing in the Daily Telegraph, Iain Duncan Smith said that people who are poor and alive are much more likely to claim benefits and tax credits than people who are dead.

“The overwhelming majority of people who claim benefits are alive,” he explained.

“This is a situation that we cannot allow to continue.”

“We need to implement a system that encourages people off benefits and into mortuaries.”

Duncan Smith on obituaries

Mr Duncan Smith also lambasted the tax credit system put in place by Labour, describing it as “not fit for purpose”.

“It is not fair that decent hardworking people should have to foot the bill for decent hardworking people,” he said.

“What we need is a fairer system that involves employers paying what they want, being able to sack people when they want and for whatever reason they want.”

“Employers are more likely to create jobs and take on more staff if they can sack them.”

Duncan Smith used numerous pieces of evidence-free evidence in order to highlight how the poorest in society are causing the UK to haemorrhage money quicker than Paul Merson playing Three-card Monte.

“It is important when discussing welfare reforms that I use the word ‘fraud’ as often as possible,” he said.

“It is equally important when discussing tax avoidance and MPs expense claims that I don’t use it at all.”

“That way everyone knows where they stand.”

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