Friday 21 December 2012 by Waylandsmithy

NRA protests screenings of ‘The Impossible’ for not showing how to subdue tsunamis with guns


Gun owners have reacted angrily to a film about the 2004 Tsunami, which fails to show guns being used to solve the problem.

‘The Impossible’ tells the story of a catastrophic event that killed thousands of foreign people, through the eyes of a middle-class white American family.

“Cinema goers have come to expect firearms-based solutions to difficult situations”, explained Brad Trepeski of the National Rifle Association.

“But this sick film doesn’t feature so much as a hunting knife.”

Trepeski has urged members to boycott the film, and instead spend their time practicing firing at waterfalls.

“We have the right to defend ourselves against whatever God throws at us”, insisted Trepeski, “be it a natural disaster, or our own stupidity.”

NRA protest

While the sudden influx of millions of gallons of seawater might appear to be something you should flee from, Trepeski slammed such a cowardly approach.

“In these situations, you should stand firm, take aim and pump that mother full of lead”, he insisted.

“As my old man used to say, ‘Better to die a hero, than set up a complex early warning system to detect similar disasters in future’.”

Critics claim that high-powered weapons would have done little to stop the tsunami, and if anything would have ‘made matters worse’.

“These nutters are no more likely to persuade a physical wall of water to turn back, than they are to resist the rising tide of public anti-gun feeling”, explained Gill Hampton, a gun control lobbyist.

“Although they have been buying an awful lot of weapons just lately. Has anyone got a Kevlar life-jacket I can borrow?”

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