Thursday 20 December 2012

Ryanair voted most popular short-haul prison by Which magazine


Despite coming last in a Which? survey of short haul carriers, Ryanair is celebrating after being ranked the number one short-haul prison.

The survey of people unlucky enough to spend time ‘inside’ a Ryanair vehicle spoke positively about their ‘scared straight’ approach to traveller rehabilitation.

Former Ryanair user Simon Williams told us, “I’d never really thought twice about travelling at the low-budget end of the market, but thanks to Ryanair I am reformed. Never again.”

“The TV might show smiling faces, meals served to you, and a chance to catch up on your reading – but they never show the harsh reality and true horrors of traveling with Ryanair.”

“Having to fight your way through the experience just to sit somewhere not too unpleasant. The intimidating undercurrent from the other passengers. It’s frightening.”

Ryanair Which? survey

Lead researcher in charge of the Which? survey, Harvey Simpkins told us, “As an airline they suck donkey balls, but as a provider of flying incarceration units, they’re really second to none.”

“If you don’t behave, they’ll send you on a flight to Barcelona airport, which is actually close to France than Barcelona.”

“The guards, or ‘attendents’ as they call them, can be pretty vicious too. They’ll rob you blind if you’re not careful.”

“I mean, £10 for a cheese sandwich, come on.”

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